Beginning of my story what do you think?

Perfect beginning... little creepy though... but that's my specialty... do you want it to be a sci-fi, or what? Because if you want help in making it sci-fi, I can help. The 'she saw she saw she saw' part needs commas and put in indentation... KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE DOING PERFECTLY!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! i want you to email me the full story... im an author myself... published too, but I was published when I was 9, so I've probably lost some of my talent... maybe. I still do a good job with horses, dragons, murderers, and that sorta thing... I don't do nonfiction books. but keep up the good work! it was really good!